Lamest Fast Words

by T.C. Folkpunk

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about

Recorded live off the floor in one caffeine-fueled, two hour session.

credits

released November 12, 2014

Recorded April 27, 2014.
Produced by T.C.
Engineered by Dave Misener.
Mastered by Fedge.
Artwork by Frank Makak, silhouette from a photo by Derek Bruneau.

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license

all rights reserved

about

T.C. Folkpunk Toronto, Ontario

One guy with an electric guitar and a notebook full of lyrics.

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Track Name: I Overheard Somebody Telling Me
I overheard somebody telling me that 45 was not the final answer,
And he should know, he's made a spectacle of himself in his role as mystery dancer,
I'll give my glasses a raise, to all his clever turns of phrase,
That had me pumped up until, my aim is troubadour still.

I overheard somebody telling me the band is often nothing more than icing,
And he should know, he lit the fuse by making solo punk guitar seem so enticing.
I'll raise my pint in the air, and cast my mind back if I dare,
When his releases were met, with greetings to the new cassette.

I overheard somebody telling me the future was and still remains unwritten,
And in his day the present kept him busy clashing with the clampdown in Great Britain.
I'll raise my flask in the air, and cast my mind back if I dare,
As near as I could discern, my hero strummed while London burned.
Track Name: Venus Near The Sunset
Venus looks but she will not talk,
Gypsy Davy boats his dock,
Mitch the drunk forgot to walk away.

Candy apples happy new year,
Please describe the thoughts that you hear,
You don't have a thing to fear with me.

Venus near the sunset there,
She doesn't mean to give you a scare,
Don't you see there's nothing to hide,
Don't you know, there's something inside.

I know you, you're so familiar,
Did I meet you playing billiards?
You are just the eyeful filler I need.

With the river at your door,
There's so much we could explore,
If I weren't so saddle sore just now.

Venus near the sunset there,
She doesn't mean to give you a scare,
Don't you see there's nothing to hide,
Don't you know, there's something inside.

Now you're playing in the park,
Now you're reading in the dark,
There's no need for snide remarks right now

Loving you and paper dolls,
At the centre of it all,
What a time for you to fall and how.

Venus near the sunset there,
Look at what he did to her hair, and walls,
Don't you see there's nothing to hide,
Don't you know, there's something inside that crawls.
Track Name: How He Spent His Summer
Was it real, or was it just an infatuation?
That's the question he asks of the whole situation,
He looks to be such a sad case, but then aren't we all out of place?
And there he was trying so hard, to be the bard of the backyard.

Was it real, was it just reproductive instinct?
In a showdown with loneliness it seems that he blinked,
And then the suspicions set in, it's over before it begins,
Contortions that some will go through, to get rid of three drops of glue.

Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo,
Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo,

In a straight jacket made out of etiquette,
He was left in his misery it seems, and yet,
He'd probably said far too much, once all of his courage was Dutch,
They left him there on a slow burn, to teach him what he had to learn.
Track Name: Wheel Of Misfortune
Everyone gets a spin
On the wheel of misfortune, so strap yourself in,
No one controls the ride,
On the wheel of misfortune, though many have tried.

Dig yourself, dig yourself in,
Wanna have your tart and eat it,
Any diet can be cheated, good luck with trying to
Dig yourself, dig yourself out,
Rookie knight in tarnished armour,
Homelessly romantic charmer, coming to realize,
His little pawn, of its own accord,
Wants to get off the board.

Everyone gets a spin
On the wheel of misfortune, so strap yourself in,
No one controls the ride,
On the wheel of misfortune, though many have tried.

Turn yourself, turn yourself in,
First the verdict then the charges,
Guilty of the smallest largesse, trial and error take
Turn yourself, turn yourself out,
In your regular regalia,
For a thought of bacchanalia, you'll pay the ultimate,
Price on your head, the sofa's your bed,
You should have just lied instead.

Everyone gets a spin
On the wheel of misfortune, so strap yourself in,
No one controls the ride,
On the wheel of misfortune, though many have tried.

Everyone gets a spin
On the wheel of misfortune, so strap yourself in,
No one controls the ride,
On the wheel of misfortune, though many have,
The wheel of misfortune, though many have,
The wheel of misfortune though many have tried.
Track Name: His Roxane
Stealing a glance into her eyes
He's realizing,
That some of his plans and half his schemes
Or so it seems
Are there

Giving her songs before the rain
Then explaining
Words that are only for her ears,
Three Musketeers
Exempt

Suppose
They never so much as embrace
He knows
He'll still hold some of her each place
He goes
The silent Cyrano
And the angel at hand
Is his Roxane

Vertical barbells and his faves
Walk on waves with help
Missile that launches on a jag
And things that Shag
Would paint

Suppose
They never so much as embrace
He knows
He'll still hold some of her each place
He goes
The silent Cyrano
And the angel at hand
Is his Roxane

Backlit on Monday beautifully
With two and three stars
Castles and picnics finish out
The dream without
The sleep

Suppose
They never so much as embrace
He knows
He'll still hold some of her each place
He goes
The silent Cyrano
And the angel at hand
Is his Roxane

His Roxane
His Roxane
His Roxane
Track Name: Windmills
I could go out for a while to clear my head,
But I know I'd only picture you instead,
With an inescapable conclusion waiting then:
It was fun to charge at windmills with a friend.

As a catalyst, you rearranged my thoughts,
I received a list of battles to be fought,
And for anyone who listened, I would recommend,
It was fun to charge at windmills with a friend.

Because there ain't no cure for the summertime muse,
I can't spring back from the fall I took,
I'm the seasoned winner of my discontented truth.

Well, in hindsight things weren't quite as advertised,
But I still maintain a fondness in disguise,
And I might just miss you more than I can comprehend
It was fun to charge at windmills with a friend

Because there ain't no cure for the summertime muse,
I can't spring back from the fall I took,
I'm the seasoned winner of my discontented truth.

So we drift apart through mutual neglect,
And I don't know if some day we'll reconnect,
But if we don't, there's one last message I will send:
"It was fun to charge at windmills with a friend".
Track Name: The Things She Said To Me
The things she said to me could fill up a void,
The things she said to me now leave me annoyed,
And I feel as though I've snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

I got up on the wrong side of her mood,
And watched amazed as everything came unglued,
And paced around as I conjured up what to say next.

To boldly go where no man's fallen before,
Would seem a hobby, occupation or more,
Of those determined that their muscle of love is never flexed.

I'm sincerely not concerned or so I claim,
Even if it seems my only aim,
Is laying blame.

As opportunity knocks you around,
You'll find some wisdom etched right into the ground,
As it comes up to meet you the first night your sorrows take a bath.

How we would imitate the beast with two backs,
Or was it just a front for something we lacked,
I'll have to sacrifice the company of her golden calves.

Stay at home in voluntary quarantine,
Act like nothing's wrong, the old routine,
We've all seen.

And if I phone her in the middle of the night,
It's not for sentiment, but rather for spite,
If I lost any sleep the favour is easily returned

The things she said to me belong in a vault,
With priceless ironies and verbal assaults,
The stuff that screams are made of now that the courting is adjourned.

The things she said to me,
The things she said to me,
The things she said to me...
Track Name: Here Crumbles The Bride
She's got nineteen eyes all the way down to her hips,
She wears a neon fireman's helmet and has long winded fits,
Her daddy carries a woodstove and a telephone to boot,
His lab coat got no sleeves, but the pockets are filled with loot,
She's the girl you never wanted, but dreamed of all the same,
And if you roll her fuzzy dice you can play the wedding game.

Your soon-to-be mother-in-law has an apron full of knives,
She quotes you useless facts on all the neighbours' lives,
Then straightening her bow tie, makes noises like a bird,
Taking three steps backwards, she says she's not so sure,
That marrying a Libra is the best way to succeed,
And wouldn't it be funny if the wedding gifts were green?

The best man is a donkey and a well read one at that,
He's got a paisley cummerbund and a polka dot top hat,
He's dancing in the parking lot, feeling quite serene,
But the serenity is broken when the father-in law does scream,
That he's figured out the meaning behind the jelly rolls of song,
And leaping to his golf cart, drives through the wedding throng.

The preacher crawls in frowning with a plastic fishing rod,
He lights twelve sticks of dynamite, the congregations applauds,
Then quickly pirouetting through an elevator door,
Re-appears in seconds to read the hockey scores.
He looks vaguely familiar when he dons his hooded cloak,
And completes the ceremony with a Liberace joke.

The flower girl responding to all this twisted fare,
With a kangaroo on a leash and a cactus in her hair,
She resembles John Belushi, but mostly around the waist,
She swallows her invitation, washes it down with some paste,
Then racing the desert cart around the bride's great aunt,
Rehashes her life story, but gives it a new slant.

The wine at the reception is filtered through the roof,
Your nephew from Nevada is tragically aloof,
And then the butter magnate crawls through the window pane,
Bearing gifts of matches and melted candy canes,
Five Tibetan monks are firing warning flares,
They finish off the evening riding chain saws down the stairs.
Track Name: For The Lucky Ones
For the lucky ones, life is a simple game to play,
For the lucky ones, never a price too high to pay,
For the lucky ones, part of me wishes them the best,
For the lucky ones, and did I mention I'm impressed?

They've got it made,
They've got all the lucky breaks,
They've got everything it takes,
The accolades, go on and on without fail,
Our lives do pale when we,
Realize they're second to none,
They make us green, those lucky ones, two, three.

For the lucky ones, life is a simple game to play,
For the lucky ones, never a price too high to pay,
For the lucky ones, part of me wishes them the best,
For the lucky ones, and did I mention I'm impressed?

With tongue in cheek,
I only wish that I could be,
Among the ones who hold the key,
To life so chic,
Hope they can find it in their hearts,
To make me part of their,
Exclusive inner sanctum,
I'll be a useless lucky one, two, three…

For the lucky ones, life is a simple game to play,
For the lucky ones, never a price too high to pay,
For the lucky ones, part of me wishes them the best,
For the lucky ones, and did I mention I'm impressed?

The lucky ones,
Leave them to their little lives,
Leave them to the archives,
Oblivion,
In trying to memorize the rules,
Taught in the schools of the,
Socially slick simpletons,
Dressed up in drab unison,
Don't sell your soul to become,
One in a crowd of lucky ones, two, three...

For the lucky ones, life is a simple game to play,
For the lucky ones, never a price too high to pay,
For the lucky ones, part of me wishes them the best,
For the lucky ones, and did I mention I'm impressed?
Track Name: Leave Me Out
You are tying me to the lifestyle where,
All the freedom's chained, measured cut and planed,
But what you specify is never dealt in pairs,
All attention paid to what all you say, not do.

Pumping irony is your tour de force,
Heavy handed air, you blow without care,
Though hugging, kissing, owning blend in well of course,
There's something in that mix, you don't care to fix at all.

So leave me out of your domestics,
You never took part in my best kicks,
Just leave me out of all your plans,
Unplug the future, fold your hand
You'll never bluff me up the aisle.

Pout then if you must, I still don't feel the guilt,
You try to induce, come on quit it, it's no use,
The verbal daggers you would drive in to the hilt,
Never make their mark, you're still in the dark after all.

So leave me out of your domestics,
You never took part in my best kicks,
Just leave me out of all your plans,
Unplug the future, fold your hand
You'll never bluff me up the aisle.

Walking out the door's become a habit now,
I'd be nuts to break, there's nothing left at stake,
So lock it up behind me I'm not coming back,
Slipped out of the noose, glad I'm on the loose once more.
Track Name: Liquid Night-O-Gin
There she was in all her glory, telling me a sailor story,
As she cracked another can of malt,
I was patiently explaining, while the beverages were draining,
That her life had not come to a halt.

And the marshall with eyebrows raising,
Saw the game on the couch he's facing,
So aloof like he's deaf but not so dumb.

I was pacing 'round the lobby, mister chivalry embodied,
Done down as I was in dungarees,
She would pour her facts and fictions, out admitting her addictions,
To those shining knighthood wannabes.

Now the marshall is spilling retorts,
Flowing fast like the pints of import,
Laughing gasping past the point of tears.

Does social networking still come in bottle form?
'Cause I could go for some right now,
I'm on the starboard drinking port throughout the storm,
As I sternly take a bow.

She still haunted by the pirate, me becoming boiling irate
Ain't it funny how some things don't change?
Meanwhile something somewhere stirring, as the mist of time was blurring,
Floating me out of the rebound range.

They say hindsight's a clearer vision,
But only after your mind's revisions,
Change the story to what you want to hear.
Track Name: Honey, What Is The Deal?
Well the lights are low and your perfume's fine,
The music flows like the hands of time
We're dancing here to the twist of fate
Another reason to stay up late,
You say it sounds funny well imagine that
I can't applaud the alternative with my hands in a trap, so

Honey what is the deal?
Is it my heart or money you want to steal?
Tell me what's wrong with you?
And is it wrong with me too?

Well some things don't help the mood at all
And leave me wanting to climb the walls,
What's a little hatred between two friends,
If one keeps it secret and the other pretends?
A true romantic would admit it's no fun,
But a true romantic would just buy flowers and then be done, so

Honey what is the deal?
Is it my heart or money you want to steal?
Tell me what's wrong with you?
And is it wrong with me too?

Well you can call me paranoid,
But there are things I want to avoid,
Suspecting things that I can't see,
Am I paranoid or are you naive?
In the heat of the moment my judgement's poor,
In the heat of the moment I can't keep cool anymore, so

Honey what is the deal?
Is it my heart or money you want to steal?
Tell me what's wrong with you?
And is it wrong with me too?

Honey what is the deal?
Is it my heart or money you want to steal?
Tell me what's wrong with you?
And is it wrong with me too?